Dismissals

My father frequently quoted the village butcher who, long ago, bamboozled my grandmother. She bought seven items at 7 cents apiece and presented them at the register. The butcher said, “7 times 7 is 77 but you, madame, may have them for 66!” I did not immediately understand but this was my father’s warning that the world is full of chicanery. Something for nothing. Bargains that aren’t. I am reading Bonhoeffer’s Cost of Discipleship: “Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.” I am beginning to understand that there are no shortcuts. No discounts. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

In 1883, the volcano Krakatoa darkened the skies across all the earth. 96 years later I was 30, sailing on a dark night through the Sunda Strait of Indonesia. Krakatoa was still erupting, magma pressing out a fissure, red hot lava turning the sea below into steam. At the helm of the sailboat, standing on the listing deck, I reached for my old Zippo and lit a cigarette. As I pondered how I might mark the occasion, I chanced to contrast the cigarette lighter’s tiny flame with the volcano’s red plume. I crushed out that cigarette and never smoked another. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

At the kitchen table, baby in her highchair, children pulled close, the family offered a prayer. That day the roof leaked and a bill collector called. Dinner was last night’s leftovers. The children were tired. By the refrigerator, a framed wedding certificate: “Marriage of Edward and Marybeth.” Their vows were written out. Then the words, “We Will Be There When You Need Us.” Below, the signatures of all who had witnessed their marriage. As he did every night, Ed said to Marybeth, “Should we call them for help?” Every night Marybeth answered, “No. I believe we’re going to be alright.” Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

In 1979, I was a deckhand on a 52 foot ketch rig sailboat. We sailed from Singapore along the lee shore of Sumatra. Midnight watch, alone at the wheel, wind steady, sea calm, with binoculars I tried to identify the red glow ten miles off. The chart showed only a rocky island. Onward I sailed, closer to the light. At last, I woke the captain. “What is that light?” I asked. “It is nothing,” he said, “Only a volcano.” He went. I squinted at the chart. It was Krakatoa, off the starboard quarter, erupting still, lava running into the sea. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

At the museum, moved by a painting of Jesus on the cross, I paused, moved on, then returned to stand in prayerful silence. Leaving, I chanced to see in the gift-shop a book titled Crucifixion. Paintings by the masters, frightening, tender, brutal, hopeful. I looked through the book and asked, “Have you a new copy? This one is worn.” Their other copies were just as shopworn so I ordered online, but this book, too, was threadbare, as if many had leafed through, breath bated, not sure what to make of it, then set the book aside for someone else. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

At a meal for the homeless, gathered around a folding table, meat, potatoes, canned beans, day old bread and jello, “Would someone like to pray?” The old man seldom spoke but wobbled to his feet, pulled off his cap and stood in silence as heads bowed. I recall these words: “Lord, thank you for this cold day. Come the hot summer, I’ll remember this cold day. For this food I am grateful. I know there is fancier somewhere, but this is all I need. I pray we all make it through the winter to share a meal together again. Amen.” Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

The old mare foaled a colt but the little guy died so I was stuck with the mare. She didn’t want to be ridden but if I goaded her she’d walk at her own pace until I turned her for home. Then she’d run flat-out until she was back at the pasture gate. She never cared whether I was still on her. Once I went into the pasture to give her oats. She kicked the bucket out of my hand. Oats went everywhere. In time, the oats grew in the pasture. In time, she came to be my mare. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

When I was a boy, I watched as my Dad set the pointer on the barometer. If he said, “Rain is coming,” it would rain. I knew then that my Dad controlled the weather. When I was some older, I understood that the barometer’s function was no more than to state the obvious: When it rained, the barometer’s needle pointed to “Rain.” Now that same barometer is mine. I fiddle with it as my Dad did, tapping it, watching for the wee jump of the needle that will tell me not what was, not what is, but what will be. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

A man strides along the road with a stick and a quick, smooth motion. A dog with a bouncy gait follows close behind. From a field, another dog hobbles over to the man. The man walks the road and other dogs, hopping and jostling, come from the fields and towns to follow him. I see then that they are all three-legged dogs. I call to the man, “Why three-legged dogs?” He does not speak or break stride but turns to me and lifts his stick ever so slightly to indicate the road ahead and I am following him still. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

How a boy came to have a horse: My mother drove along an island road and there a man led a raggedy horse. We pulled over. “Want to sell that mare?” He replied, “No, ma’am.” He kept walking and my mother kept pace. “Let’s say you did want to sell, what would you ask for her?” Discussion ensued, money was exchanged, and the horse was mine. What I wanted was a majestic stallion with a long mane. What I got was a swayback mare. We drove quite a distance before my mother told me the mare was carrying a foal. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

There was once a beautiful young woman who, by ill fortune, became the slave of her loathsome stepsisters. She scrubbed the floors, cooked, cleaned and waited hand and foot upon them. Though terribly unhappy, she bore her fate stoically, believing that, one day, all would be well. When it came time for the royal ball, the young woman wore rags as she dressed her stepsisters in their finery. While her sisters drank wine and waltzed with the prince, the young woman took to her fireside bed. There she slept, close to the ashes and cinders from whence her name: Cinderella. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh

The old woman spent her last years in a nursing home where she was known as difficult and demanding. A pastor offered a eulogy but struggled to find good words. Her caregivers, seated in the back of the chapel, checked their phones. Her granddaughter was the last to rise to speak. She started bravely but, upon recounting her early years spent in the care of her grandmother, her shoulders shook and she broke into tears so deep that she could barely continue. Hearing this story from another time and place, other eyes grew damp and the caregivers wept as well. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord! Josh